Soms is engels makkelijker

Aan een vriendin in het buitenland probeerde ik het uit te leggen. Soms is engels makkelijker.

Well, the luxury, I don't know. It's just this desire to study and to practise and to teach. It is also a kind of experiment, how shall I deal with hardly any privacy, without the warm environment of my much loved appartment. But it feels also as a relief. More and more the past 10-12 years feel as a kind of mistake, a kind of frantic scratching on an itch that was not physical. 

Tiresome and not giving peace or satisfaction, in stead many desillusions and disappointments. Mainly caused by 'myself', but nevertheless. I was happy also, but the costs were too high, not in balance. Balance is now coming. Two days ago, I spoke Q again, .... So, that is also why it feels a bit as a liberation to not hold on to the apartment, because it was also established in a very different, more shared, set of ideas, intentions and feelings. 

En haar zo begripvolle en ondersteunende reactie.

Your words did set me in some state of shock, that I must admit. Such a huge change in your life.. Then of course I remember the radiance glooming out of your center after the experience in Asia and I must believe and trust that the path you are about to take, or have taken already, is of deep importance and the right thing for you. Neverless I admire your courage.